Identity Questions

Have you ever stopped to think about who you are?  I mean really think;  the type of thinking that ends up driving you nuts and you begin to question why you even started to ask the questions in the first place because now you're more confused then when you started? :-) yes...

This seems to  be the intersection that I am sitting at now; one of those 4-way stops with a blinking red light.  Cars piling up behind me, honking, and I, to stunned and confused to pick a direction, sit thinking back on the road construction that I've just come through wondering what the heck just happened.

The last 10 years or so have been a time of stripping away of who I thought I was and who I wished I was.  It has left me broken and humbled, crying out to the God who I thought I knew.  I often feel as though I am dieing slowly waiting for the answers yet hearing mostly silence.

Who am I if I no longer teach?
   Who am I if I no longer own a home?
     Who am I if I no longer host a church small group?
       Who am I if I no longer run a successful business?
         Who am I if I no longer mentor women who are struggling?
           Who am I if I no longer am studying for a higher education?
             Who am I if I no longer plan and build a successful ministry?

WHO AM I?!?!?!

I know the general "Christian-eese" answer:  "You find your identity IN Christ."  That's great and all, but in a season of life where the God that I had put into a box is not talking to me the same way that He has before, I sit wondering the what-if's that always end in self doubt and darkness.  I have decided to stop sitting and start seeking the full identity of this God that is too big for any box, in hopes that He will sit with me.  Maybe, if I find Him and better understand who He is, I may find in the end, a friend to sit with, who knows me better then I know myself.